Mum to be panic: 1

Today I have been mostly worrying about prams.

I've been reviewing all the baby stuff we have to buy and most of it seems fairly obvious and straight forward. Socks for example. I completely understand the purpose and use of socks and how to buy socks. Baby socks are causing me no strain whatsoever.

Prams are a different matter. WTF is going on with prams? They are the most complicated things in the baby universe. I consider myself an averagely intelligent person but each visit I make to a pram website turns me into a nervous gibbering wreck. The descriptions of them rival those of the most complicated cars. For example this one.

Contemporary elegance and true style delivers the presige collection. With close attention to detail and a wide range of textile combinations the prestige is the perfect start in a secure environment. Developed for children from birth to approx 3 years. The prestige provides the highest level of security, practicality, comfort and style. As a travel system, the prestige has a complete range of matching tailored car seats (available extra).

Erm OK.

It's not just the flowery descriptions, its the technical terminology that goes with it that leaves me in a flummoxed sweat.

The luxurious carrycot has many features such as locking rails, ventilated carrycot base and integral air vent installed in the hood for summer strolls. 

I can grasp the concept of a ventilated carrycot base but what the heck are locking rails?

What further distresses me is that prams often appear to be sold without certain things you need. Some prams for example you need to buy the rain cover separately. Now this strikes me as a bit mean on the part of the manufacturer but hey, at least I can determine what a rain cover is and whether or not I want one (living in the Sahara Desert, probably not, living in the UK, absolutely).

However some appear to be sold without parts that I don't even know if I need. For example this buggy is sold without a 'chassis' although we are reassured that we can buy one separately if needs be.

Nowhere from the website however can I determine what a 'chassis' actually is, whether or not I need one or if the whole pram will fall apart without it.

So at the moment I gear myself up mentally to look at prams, look at a few for five minutes, determine I have no idea what I am looking at and wish I was a marsupial, then retreat to bed to rest my weary nerves.

Or look at baby socks.

Family Tree Research: They got my name wrong!

I don't know if it's because there is a baby on the way, or because a new series of 'Who do you think you are' has just started airing on the BBC, but I've suddenly developed the urge to look into my roots more deeply.

I've signed up to a free trial of Ancestry.com and started digging around. The best way to start is to begin a family tree with your own details and start filling in as you go.

So far all I've found are these quarterly birth certificate reports. These are not your individual birth certificate which you use all your life when you need to prove your identity, apply for a passport and so on, but a big index of names of people born in a particular region during a three month period. They just list your first name, surname and your mothers maiden name. These reports are submitted to central government once a quarter and have been since approximately 1916.

I found mine.

They got my name wrong.

Literally totally wrong. My first name has been totally changed by the first two letters. I know it's my record because it's the correct date, has my somewhat unusual surname and my mothers maiden name.  It has to be me.

This leaves me with one of two possibilities. My mother has lied to me my whole life about my name. When I was born she gave me this 'other' name, but decided once the post labour pain killers had worn off that it didn't fit me. So she somehow she went back in time and had my individual birth certificate altered so that it displays my 'current name' and the shameful secret of my 'other' name has been confined only to this quarterly record.

Or somewhere a civil servant fell pray to the curse of my 'current name'. I'm thinking this is the more likely option because I've experienced the curse before. My 'current name' is rather unusual. There are currently less then 2000 people in the UK with my first name. It's a simple name in my opinion but for some reason in it's written form it renders people completely incapable of the previous simple task of copying one word from one document and onto another.

I have lost track of the number of times someone has read aloud from a register or list something that vaguely sounds like my name, but actually isn't. The hotel reservations I have almost lost because technically they are in someone else's name altogether. The emails I have received in response to emails which I myself have written which, despite the fact that my name is clearly spelt in big clear letters in my signature, the author of the reply has decided to spell my name completely differently.

I want to know what goes through peoples minds when the curse hits. Do they look at how I, the owner and user of my name, have spelt it and think to themselves 'nah, she can't possibly have meant that's how her name is spelt, what she actually must have meant is ______'. Not even just odd spellings, but actually changing the first few letters so that the sound of the name is totally different too. I just can't understand the thought process. OK, OK my name is unusual. I get it that you might not spell it right the first time if you hear it over the phone. But why the heck can't you copy it down correctly when it is written in front of you!

It is now late and I should go to bed. I will ponder this mystery in my dreams and in the morning quiz my mother to see if she has actually been telling the truth all these years.

Hospital

Hello all,

I've just spent the last two nights in hospital with a kidney infection. Me and baby are OK and on the mend thank fully.

Was wonderfully looked after by a nice team of midwives, nurses and doctors. Long live the NHS.

Posting may be sporadic while I get back on my feet.

Even though I grumble about the iron I am actually grateful

I have grumbled in recent posts about my lack of ironing ability. While I will rue my lack of skill for some time to come in reality I am actually grateful that I'm a housewife in such a modern age.

I've recently been re watching the excellent BBC4 series 'If Walls Could Talk' with Dr Lucy Worsley. Unfortunately it does not appear to be available on DVD, but there is a book.

Amazon store

I loved this series. Dr Worsley is a really engaging presenter and the series was brilliantly balanced with each of the four episodes focusing on one room.

The series went back in time as far as medieval England, examining how our ancestors lived.

What really struck me was how much work house work really was in 'the old days'. Now I'm not trying to diminish what we Modern Housewives have to do because it's still not a walk in the park. However it was nothing like what a Victorian housewife might have to go through.

For example a Victorian housewife had to strip her bed everyday to prevent moisture from entering the fabrics, ruining them and potentially making its occupants ill. There were around 10 layers of various blankets and different mattresses to each bed. Stripping one, cleaning the various parts and putting it back together again could take over an hour. Everyday!

Even with my extremely poor and slow ironing it takes me about an hour of actual contact time (not counting the time the sheets are in the washing machine) to make my bed and that is just once a week. Imagine having to do that every day.

That's not factoring in the amazing amount of labour that was involved in washing all the household linen, cleaning and dusting, particularly difficult in houses using coal or gas and then the additional labour of cooking without any convenience foods.

I'm totally and completely exhausted today. The second trimester of pregnancy is meant to leave you feeling young and sprite like and while I do feel better then I did in the dreaded first trimester, I still don't feel up to much at all. So far today all I have achieved is making a light breakfast and lunch for me and the hubby, putting in two loads of laundry and loading the dishwasher.

Luckily because of lots of lovely and beautiful machines this hasn't taken too much work at all and I've been able to spend most of the day where I have needed to be, which is in bed.

Always fail transwomen and all women - updated

Update: I received word from P&G that this is a spoof which they condemn. I don't know what inspires people to put such hateful things on the internet.


Warning: This post contains potentially triggering material regarding the abuse of transwomen 


Always the sanitary towel manufacturers have failed spectacularly with their latest advert. Please see the link to the F word blog below.


The F Word blog


Could there be anything less tasteful?

Organised Religion Fail

WARNING: This post contains descriptions of rape and sexual violence that some may find triggering.

I'm very grateful to belong to an organised religious group and it has done wonders for my life. But I can totally understand why people are repulsed by organised religion of all types.

Generally speaking Buddhism has a good reputation as an organised religion, partly because I think when things do go wrong the British media have so little interest in us that it doesn't make the news, thus our reputation is unsullied.

To get any news about the Buddhist world at all I have to rely on foreign news sources, particularly the excellent 'Buddhist Channel'.

I love this website. It doesn't pander to or favour any one Buddhist group which is fantastic. It also focuses on good news as well as bad news and I can read stories about the great things Buddhist are doing across the globe.

Unfortunately it isn't always good news and sometimes it is down right appalling news.

Take the case of this poor unfortunate nun who is living in Nepal.

Gang raped nun

To cut a long story short this Nun was set upon by a gang of men and raped repeatedly. Unfortunately raped women still face a lot of stigma and prejudice. As well as recovering from this horrific incident she will possibly have to face her attackers in court.

Not only that.

She is now facing the possibility that she will no longer be allowed to be a Nun in her particular community because she is no longer a virgin.

Yes you read it right.

Just take a look at some of these charming comments which have been taken from the article I have linked to above.

 "The religious dictum requires a nun to be virgin. So, it will be difficult to take her back," the president of Nepal, Tamang Ghedung Kumar Yonjan, said in an article in the Nepal Republic Media. "But we will lobby for her reinstatement as it is a unique incident.

Charming isn't it. But it gets worse.

 An article in GreaterKashmir.com explained that some "orthodox Buddhist organizations" condemned the attack, but said "she had lost her religion as she had lost her celibacy." This led to an outcry, the article continued, that included other Buddhists "citing incidents from the Buddhist scriptures to show how the Buddha absolved a nun of blame after she was drugged and raped by a monk."
However, Norbu Sherpa, an official of Nepal Buddhist Federation, told the Times of India, "Such a thing never happened in the Buddha's lifetime. … So he did not leave instructions about how to deal with the situation. Buddhists all over the world adhere to what he had laid down: that a person can no longer be considered ordained in case of having a physical relationship. It's applicable to both men and women." When pressed by the Times of India, Sherpa expressed regret about the attack, but said, "A vessel that is damaged once can no longer be used to keep water. … Buddhism all over the world says this. Even the Dalai Lama says you can't be a monk or nun after marriage.

Now for a start  I'm pretty sure His Holiness the Dalai Lama would not say this. I know personally people who have been married and gone on to be ordained in the FPMT of which His Holiness is the leader. I also doubt he would be so cruel.

Secondly and most importantly, where is the compassion? Where is the common sense? This poor women has undergone the worst of traumas, how can they kick her when she is down? Don't they realise the message this sends to women who have been abused and women generally - that they are worthless nothings.

I can't think of anything that is more contradictory to the Buddha's teachings then this approach. It  is as though everything that is good and true and wonderful about the Dharma has been thrown out of the window in favour of some bizarre and twisted interpretation of monastic law. It's cases such as these that highlight the dangers inherent in organised religion. Organised religious groups can do wonderful things and provide support to millions but sometimes they get it oh so wrong.

Non Iron Woman

I have a poor relationship with iron. Blood tests have shown that in the past I have been somewhat deficient in it.  Luckily when this occurs I can make dietary changes and take supplements to improve the situation.

Unfortunately there is no supplement I can take to improve my chronic ironing deficiency.

I am terrible at ironing. I know that few people enjoy ironing because it is a laborious and seemingly never ending task. However at least they enjoy the wrinkle free fruits of their labour after all that never ending effort.

I can iron as much as I want and I still look like I haven't bothered.

Today I ironed a set a of bed sheets. They look better then normal because normally I don't bother to iron them at all. This time I decided to persevere and stood for three quarters of an hour ironing them.

You wouldn't know it. They look like I put them on the bed clean out of the dryer. The best parts are the patches where I've been able to somewhat flatten the wrinkles that occurred in the wash.  In the worst parts are the wrinkles I missed all together as well as some new ones that I've managed to iron in.

I also have this problem with clothes. I will work hard to iron a shirt only to have it look marginally better then it did before I started, as though it had once been nicely ironed but had since been worn on a long and sweaty hot car journey.

I can not understand what I am doing wrong. I use the water spray function on the iron. I ensure it is properly topped up with water. I use the appropriate temperature.  I stand and methodically rotate the garment to ensure that every section has received attention. I'm even careful to slowly work my way around any buttons or embellishments. Despite all my efforts I stand there agog as my my iron passes over the same spot time after time only to reveal the same wrinkles staring up at me smugly from my ironing board like the villain at the end of a bad horror film. They just won't stay down.

I can't even blame my iron. It's a reasonably priced iron manufactured by a reasonably reliable company. It's lasted a remarkably long time given that in the past I've tended to get through one iron a year ( I don't know why - they all start leaking on me).

Perhaps practice will make perfect and somehow next week when it's time to iron the sheets I will somehow magically improve.

I doubt it.