Week One in review

I spent much of this first week of housebodness in a kind of haze of shock. To be honest there was a lot more lying around playing computer games then there should have been. When I'd envisioned becoming a housebod I saw myself as a montage. It's always a bad idea to make decisions based on an imaginary montage. In the montage I was blur of efficiency cleaning here and cooking there, inexplicably wearing pink high heels even though I don't own any.

I think I might have been influenced by images such as this.

A date with your family

Like the holographic doctor in the Star Trek Voyager episode 'Real Life' I had some very rosy expectations of what sort of wife I would be and how I would feel.

Naturally things didn't go to plan. Without the usual schedule of getting up and going to work I just fell apart. Before I'd started I'd drawn up a timetable of what I would do with every hour of the day - but I just couldn't find the motivation to stick to it. I lay in bed surfing the web, bored and wanting to change but unable to get up and do anything about it. I was sail boat stuck in a lull at sea, unable to go forward.

I felt a sense of deep panic and began to wonder if I'd made a terrible mistake. What if all the days stretched out in front of me as grey and shapeless as this?

Luckily after a couple of days I managed to pick myself up and get on with it. I realised that my timetable wasn't going to cut it, I needed a to do list, just like I had in the days of yore when I was a waged worker.

So I set myself a short list of goals and got some stuff done. The living room - which was looking pretty rough is now neat and tidy and I could actually welcome a guest into it without dying of shame. I've also managed to tidy up the office a bit and my other half can find things much more easily. I invested some little baskets from Clas Ohlson to sort out bits of wire and cables, so this are now looks lovely and neat. I also threw out shocking amount of rubbish.

I've found some moments of calm. Now I'm not rushing back and forth from work, I've found time to sit for a while and just appreciate life. The other day I sat for five minutes and watched the snow fall out of the window. Another day I watched seagulls flying over the house, circling around each other like a tranquil tornado. I've seen the clouds change and noticed the weather as something beautiful, not just something to be dressed for or endured. I probably had time for this sort of thing when I was a waged worker, but I just didn't because I was exhausted. It's amazing how much more grounded you can feel just by spending a few minutes of calm reflection.

My other half has also reported a positive change. He feels calmer and less stressed and more supported. We've had more time for each other and enjoyed each others company more, however he is still worried about our financial prospects. We are going to be discussing budgets this week.

So this week I have learned

1. I need to improve my self motivation. A to do list is a must.
2. It's nice to look out of the window once in a while.  

I made a chocolate cheesecake

I'm trying to make things rather then buying them. I have visions of hosting dinner parties and being a wonderful hostess. I have got these visions because I watch too many life style programmes and too much 'Come Dine with Me'. I'm starting to think lifestyle programmes are dangerous, they raise my expectations so high. I'd probably do myself less damage if I just watched trashy reality TV.

Anyways I've been trying to perfect a chocolate cheesecake recipe that I got from the Good Food website. By the way, I'd recommend that you use their recipe - don't try and copy mine. It has not gone well and the long term health effects of semi melted smarties/minstrels have not been studied.

Malt Chocolate Cheesecake

I've made it a few times now with my own variations each time. There was the infamous smarties cake. Nice but unfortunately the colour ran off the smarties and on to the cake, mostly off the blue ones. When you cut into it, it looked a bit like you'd slaughtered a smurf. I tried a version with white chocolate buttons. This time I decided to use Galaxy Minstrels, because for some reason I'd forgotten about the shell issue.

As you can see it also ran, but I don't think it's quite as bad as the smarties cake. At least it's brown on brown. I could almost pass it off as deliberate.

Professional looking isn't it. Isn't it?

Unfortunately I don't think I used enough butter for the biscuit base. It was somewhat crumbly and had to be prised off with a pallet knife. Which incidentally I had to be over 18 to buy which I think is ridiculous. It's not even a proper knife, it's not even sharp, it's just a thin metal spatula really. Anyway . . .

Crumbled base which foiled the pallet knife's attempt to lift it off the cake tin

 This left a small cavern at one side of the cake. Luckily it hasn't caused the cake to fall over and there is enough base left for it to stand on it's own.

Cake cavern

I'm not too displeased with this latest offering. It's not as bad as my recent cookie disaster in which my cookies spread out on the baking tray so far that they formed one giant mega cookie, mostly over the base of my oven.

Like much of my food, the chocolate cheese cake looks a bit funny but it tastes nice. Which they could put on my tomb stone to be honest - it sums me up pretty well.