Week One in review

I spent much of this first week of housebodness in a kind of haze of shock. To be honest there was a lot more lying around playing computer games then there should have been. When I'd envisioned becoming a housebod I saw myself as a montage. It's always a bad idea to make decisions based on an imaginary montage. In the montage I was blur of efficiency cleaning here and cooking there, inexplicably wearing pink high heels even though I don't own any.

I think I might have been influenced by images such as this.

A date with your family

Like the holographic doctor in the Star Trek Voyager episode 'Real Life' I had some very rosy expectations of what sort of wife I would be and how I would feel.

Naturally things didn't go to plan. Without the usual schedule of getting up and going to work I just fell apart. Before I'd started I'd drawn up a timetable of what I would do with every hour of the day - but I just couldn't find the motivation to stick to it. I lay in bed surfing the web, bored and wanting to change but unable to get up and do anything about it. I was sail boat stuck in a lull at sea, unable to go forward.

I felt a sense of deep panic and began to wonder if I'd made a terrible mistake. What if all the days stretched out in front of me as grey and shapeless as this?

Luckily after a couple of days I managed to pick myself up and get on with it. I realised that my timetable wasn't going to cut it, I needed a to do list, just like I had in the days of yore when I was a waged worker.

So I set myself a short list of goals and got some stuff done. The living room - which was looking pretty rough is now neat and tidy and I could actually welcome a guest into it without dying of shame. I've also managed to tidy up the office a bit and my other half can find things much more easily. I invested some little baskets from Clas Ohlson to sort out bits of wire and cables, so this are now looks lovely and neat. I also threw out shocking amount of rubbish.

I've found some moments of calm. Now I'm not rushing back and forth from work, I've found time to sit for a while and just appreciate life. The other day I sat for five minutes and watched the snow fall out of the window. Another day I watched seagulls flying over the house, circling around each other like a tranquil tornado. I've seen the clouds change and noticed the weather as something beautiful, not just something to be dressed for or endured. I probably had time for this sort of thing when I was a waged worker, but I just didn't because I was exhausted. It's amazing how much more grounded you can feel just by spending a few minutes of calm reflection.

My other half has also reported a positive change. He feels calmer and less stressed and more supported. We've had more time for each other and enjoyed each others company more, however he is still worried about our financial prospects. We are going to be discussing budgets this week.

So this week I have learned

1. I need to improve my self motivation. A to do list is a must.
2. It's nice to look out of the window once in a while.