Wednesday 23 March 2011

OCD Frustration

I've hit a wall with my OCD today. My husband has a friend over and my contamination fears are rearing their ugly heads again.

My thought process goes something like this.

Husband's guest will come over to our house. 


Husbands guest might get sick from something in our house. 


I must clean the house from top to bottom (which I did). 


Husbands guest might get sick if I cook for him or make him a drink (despite the fact I will happily cook for husband and myself and we never get sick). 


I will not cook for him or make him a drink despite the fact that it's dinner time. (Husband has made all the drinks)


I wish husband's guest wasn't here despite him being a lovely person who is helping husbands career. 


I hate this because I know on one level that it is illogical but I can't break the pattern. So I've made my husband order a takeaway which totally contradicts my aim to make cheap meals.

I could have quiet easily made something there is plenty of food in the house but I'm just frozen with fear. I feel so disappointed in myself. What sort of hospitality am I offering to our much loved friends? None.

OCD is a monster.

3 comments:

  1. Your honesty is refreshing. Wishing you the best as you work through the OCD. Hang in there!

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  2. Just a hello...and, I wish you did not have to live with OCD. It has got be so very hard. I like this post because you really lay it out, plainly, what you go through. Hugs to you.

    J.

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  3. Thank you both - I'm trying to keep going :)

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