Organised Religion Fail

WARNING: This post contains descriptions of rape and sexual violence that some may find triggering.

I'm very grateful to belong to an organised religious group and it has done wonders for my life. But I can totally understand why people are repulsed by organised religion of all types.

Generally speaking Buddhism has a good reputation as an organised religion, partly because I think when things do go wrong the British media have so little interest in us that it doesn't make the news, thus our reputation is unsullied.

To get any news about the Buddhist world at all I have to rely on foreign news sources, particularly the excellent 'Buddhist Channel'.

I love this website. It doesn't pander to or favour any one Buddhist group which is fantastic. It also focuses on good news as well as bad news and I can read stories about the great things Buddhist are doing across the globe.

Unfortunately it isn't always good news and sometimes it is down right appalling news.

Take the case of this poor unfortunate nun who is living in Nepal.

Gang raped nun

To cut a long story short this Nun was set upon by a gang of men and raped repeatedly. Unfortunately raped women still face a lot of stigma and prejudice. As well as recovering from this horrific incident she will possibly have to face her attackers in court.

Not only that.

She is now facing the possibility that she will no longer be allowed to be a Nun in her particular community because she is no longer a virgin.

Yes you read it right.

Just take a look at some of these charming comments which have been taken from the article I have linked to above.

 "The religious dictum requires a nun to be virgin. So, it will be difficult to take her back," the president of Nepal, Tamang Ghedung Kumar Yonjan, said in an article in the Nepal Republic Media. "But we will lobby for her reinstatement as it is a unique incident.

Charming isn't it. But it gets worse.

 An article in GreaterKashmir.com explained that some "orthodox Buddhist organizations" condemned the attack, but said "she had lost her religion as she had lost her celibacy." This led to an outcry, the article continued, that included other Buddhists "citing incidents from the Buddhist scriptures to show how the Buddha absolved a nun of blame after she was drugged and raped by a monk."
However, Norbu Sherpa, an official of Nepal Buddhist Federation, told the Times of India, "Such a thing never happened in the Buddha's lifetime. … So he did not leave instructions about how to deal with the situation. Buddhists all over the world adhere to what he had laid down: that a person can no longer be considered ordained in case of having a physical relationship. It's applicable to both men and women." When pressed by the Times of India, Sherpa expressed regret about the attack, but said, "A vessel that is damaged once can no longer be used to keep water. … Buddhism all over the world says this. Even the Dalai Lama says you can't be a monk or nun after marriage.

Now for a start  I'm pretty sure His Holiness the Dalai Lama would not say this. I know personally people who have been married and gone on to be ordained in the FPMT of which His Holiness is the leader. I also doubt he would be so cruel.

Secondly and most importantly, where is the compassion? Where is the common sense? This poor women has undergone the worst of traumas, how can they kick her when she is down? Don't they realise the message this sends to women who have been abused and women generally - that they are worthless nothings.

I can't think of anything that is more contradictory to the Buddha's teachings then this approach. It  is as though everything that is good and true and wonderful about the Dharma has been thrown out of the window in favour of some bizarre and twisted interpretation of monastic law. It's cases such as these that highlight the dangers inherent in organised religion. Organised religious groups can do wonderful things and provide support to millions but sometimes they get it oh so wrong.

Housewives through History

Since I first started thinking about becoming a housewife and what that meant, I began to reflect back on where housewives came from in the UK. I turned  to my friendly Google to find out more. I've come across lots of different articles and books which have given me pause for thought - but most recently I've come across a book called 'Wives and Housewives - a story for our times'.

The book was written and published in Victorian times by a women called Miss Mary Hooper. Miss Hooper began by writing articles on cooking for a magazine before moving on to writing her own books such as Little Dinners and Handbook for the Breakfast Table . She became a Professor of Domestic Sciences at the Crystal Palace School of Arts, Science and Literature. She also wrote about how housewives could run their households, most notably in 'Wives and Housewives - a story for our times'.  Luckily the text of the book is available for free online at this link.

Wives and Housewives is a novel with a moral message.

Spoiler Alert - click below if you want to read a plot synopsis. If you don't you'll have to read something else. 

I'm back

At this moment I'm slumped on my bed recovering from the post wedding post honeymoon whirlwind. I had a lovely time and it was all wonderful but I'm glad to get back to normality. Unfortunately I'm suffering from horrible period pains which I usually do when I've undergone some form of stress. I was planning to do some spring cleaning today but that's all gone out of the window now. Oh well, lets hope for less stomach grinding pain tomorrow.

While I was away I came across this very sad article in the Daily Mail.

Confessions of a very reluctant househusband

To sum the article up this man in his 40's is made redundant from a very high powered job. His circumstances are such that his wife goes back to work and he stays home to look after the children. He hates it because he feels that he is less of a man because he doesn't provide for his family.

To me this is very sad and an example of how rigid gender roles still seem to be. Most women would not feel guilty for loosing a job and being a stay at home mother. If anything they would be praised for it in some quarters. Clearly this man still feels the pressure to 'be a man' in terms of bringing home a wage. Luckily his partner clearly values him for his support at home and shows her gratitude to him when he looks after the children when they are sick.

However the pressures of wider society have made him feel bad about himself which is ridiculous. He saw nothing wrong with his partner staying home with the children but somehow it is unacceptable to him when the situation is reversed. Why? The children are happy and well cared for, as far as I'm concerned that is a job well done. I appreciate that some of his distress is because of the adjustment and also loosing his career, but clearly some of it is routed in his feelings of inadequacy because he's doing a 'women's role'. 

His attitude clearly illustrates two points, the first being that housework and childrearing is still considered inferior to working outside of the home and secondly that it is considered a women's role and a man is somehow less of a man if he takes it on.

Clearly as a society we still have a lot of work to do to break down these perceptions about housework. Nobody should be made to feel bad because they are a homebod, regardless of their gender, age, relationship status, educational level or financial status.